It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sorry about my life...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
