Soap is not a condiment
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
