Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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