marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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