piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
