Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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