I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
