I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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