Having a random hookup so left but love u
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
