She's JV to your varsity
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
