Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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