Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
