Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
