I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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