I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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