i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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