New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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