I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
