Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
