New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
