You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
