eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
