I think i sorta joined a cult last night
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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