i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
