He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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