im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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