I am puke
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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