You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize