It's Friday. Sex?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Houston, we have a blender
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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