All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
