I love black thongs
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
