He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
