It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
