Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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