If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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