Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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