Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
