I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
