Me too!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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