if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No more Irish car bombs ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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