Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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