Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
