Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
