is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
