Me. At least after what I've been through.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
