Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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