Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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