I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
