Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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