i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
