we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
