well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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