i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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