very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
