You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
