Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
