So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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