North Korea, Best Korea!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
