I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
