Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
